Talking Calmly in Public
Shouting and talking loudly whether in the street or anywhere in public in another aspect of uncultivated and coarse behavior. Tznius entails a quite, cultured and refined demeanor and these do not exist when a person shouts or talks in such a manner. Chazal say, דרך בנות ישראל לא קולניות 1 This is explained by the Eitz Yoseif to mean that Jewish women do not raise their voices when in public – the root of the word קולניות being קול. Here again, Chazal (our Sages) don not say “Bnos Yisroel should not…”, but simply, “It is not the way of Bnos Yisroel (Jewish women)…”, indicating that it is instinctive in the make-up of a woman and girl to be modest and refined rather than boisterous and rowdy.
It is so fundamental for a female to be quiet spoken, that Hashem created women with a quieter voice than men. Should a woman have a bellicose masculine-like voice it is viewed as a defect in her general make-up. This goes so far that Chazal say קול עבה באשה הרי זה מום – “If a woman has a heavy masculine voice it is a blemish.” 2
When Sholom Hamelech describes the way of an Eishes Chayal (a woman of valor) he says פיה פתחה בחכמה – “She opens her mouth with intelligence.” 3 With this he means that she speaks intelligently with calm and serenity, as he says in Koheles דברי חכמים בנחת נשמעים – “Intelligent people express themselves calmly.” 4
Modesty-An Adornment for Life: Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk, © Feldheim Publishers.
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