An Accomplished Woman, Who Can Find?

A Letter to the Women from Rebbitzen Susan Rich

Dear Ladies,

אשת חיל מי ימצא – An Accomplished Woman, Who Can Find?

The women of our Shul who support and encourage their husbands’ learning and minyan attendance are to be commended. The sacrifice you make by doing this, whether it be staying at home alone when you would really like his company, putting the children to bed by yourself when the dishes are piled in the sink and the groceries need to be put away, or wanting to rest after a long day, is immeasurable and earns great reward.

There are many ways a wife can encourage her husband. If we have to go out in the evening, we can arrange for a babysitter, even if it involves a financial sacrifice. (The reward will far outweigh the minimal cost.) This shows him that we value his minyan attendance and davening. We can make sure dinner is ready at a time that will allow him to eat peacefully, and not rush, and still get to shul on time. We can give him space when he comes home from work, or even time for a power nap, so he will be refreshed and able to daven and learn with a clear head. We can tell him how proud we are of the time he devotes to learning, of his commitment to the Shul, and of his sacrifices for learning. A little bit of positive reinforcement goes a very long way. AND, most importantly, we can be up waiting for him when he comes home with excitement for his and our achievements.

It may seem easier to be a man, but don’t be fooled by the fact that he “gets” to go out all the time. He also wants to spend time with you and the children, and rest after a long day. Yet we learn that there is no better way for a man to spend his time than learning Torah. That is not to say that he should never help you. There is a story about each and every gadol and how he helped prepare for Shabbos.

But if we put society’s view of the marriage partnership aside for the Torah view, and look realistically at how the household should run, we see that women are given special strengths to achieve what we need to run our homes and to turn them into miniature Batei Mikdash.

So at this auspicious time when Hashem is so close to us, we should daven for the continued strength and ability to support our husbands in their Avodas Hashem and that He show us the way to raise this mitzvah to a greater level.

In the merit of the righteous women, we were redeemed from Egypt. Hashem should help us all to grow in our appreciation of our roles as Jewish women and the establishers of the homes that will fashion the next generation of Torah observant Jews. It is an auspicious task, one we should accept with pride and determination.

May we all be written and sealed for a year of good health and growth.

Susan Rich

4 Comments Add yours

  1. tami ellis says:


  2. amy baynash (chayaesther) says:

    well, said by a woman in our community who truly epitomizes the Eshet Chayil, you, Susan. You continue to amaze me with all that you do. You must have a secret twin, filling in for you after midnight to accomplish all you do.
    Shana Tovah,

  3. Andrea says:

    Beautiful Susan, I sure do miss you! Keep showing us all what this looks like and we will all keep growing-deal? Much love as always..

  4. Dalia says:

    Love the idea of creating Beiti Mikdash, a well-spring of Torah.

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