It must be made clear, that although all forms of aggressive behavior are unfitting for a Jewish woman, this does not mean that she must always keep quiet and never voice her opinion. On the contrary, our Sages say [1. Niddah 45b] that a woman has ×‘×™× ×” יתירה – a greater intuition than a man in discerning right from wrong. The Torah actually relates two cases concerning our Forefathers in which outstanding female intuition is displayed. Avraham and Sarah had a disagreement with regard to Yishmael, whilst Yitzchak and Rivka had a disagreement concerning Eisav. On both occasions the wives were right [2. Bereishis 21:12 and 27:13] being women of an exceptional high caliber.
In the Torah way of life, a wife’s opinion is considered most carefully. It is indeed part of the beautiful partnership between husband and wife that she respectfully presents an alternative point of view for her husband to contemplate, knowing that the final decision will be made only after both outlooks have been examined carefully. The great Gaon, Rabbi Akiva Eiger zt”l, wrote a special letter after the death of his Rebbitzen, o.h., in which he describes in profound emotional terms the wonderful bond that existed between them, the deep regard he had for her and how he would discuss with her until late into the night problems he had related to issues of Yiras Shomayim (being G-d fearing) and Avodas Hashem (one’s personal service to G-d).
Even when she is right and her opinion has been accepted, a Jewish woman remains refined and does not take the central role. Moreover, she is particularly careful not to undermine the authority of her husband. King David compares Jewish daughters to the corner bricks of a wall — ×‘× ×•×ª×™× ×• כזוויות [3. Tehillim 144:12] The Malbim explains: when a wall is built the two corners are built first. A string is then drawn from one corner to the other, to ensure that the central bricks are set at the right height. Their position is measured from the corner bricks which literally “set the tone.” These corner bricks, however, always shun the limelight and remain at the sides and at the corners even though they fulfilled such an important role. Fortunate is the daughter who sees this at home.
Excellent insight! Thank you so much for doing this. Be well! Noa 6/4