The need for tznius and privacy applies also to one’s own secrets and private affairs not just those of other people. The Gemara [1. Megilla 13b] says that Esther did not reveal her identity – ×ין ×סתר מגדת ×ת עמה “Esther would not disclose who her people were.” [2. Esther 2:20] – because she was a tznua.
It should be noted that in pre-war years, when a husband had no option but to say that his wife was unable to attend a certain function due to pregnancy he would say, “Sie ist in andere umshtender.” – She is in special circumstances.” – so as not to mention personal affairs beyond the minimum social requirement. The requirement for this type of tznius behavior is especially important concerning one’s intimate relationship with his or her spouse. This was Jewish conduct at its best and such refinement of behavior is fitting for the descendants of the Avos and Imahos (Forefathers and Foremothers).
I will venture to say that this too is a matter of balance. One could say that we need to know each other. I have seen folks in our world that carry this attribute of Tznius to a place where it’s as if they are unknowable, aloof, apart from us even though they exist among us. I don’t think Ribono Shel Olam wants that for us any more than he wants us to inappropriately disclose private matters about ourselves.
I believe Hashem wants us to allow others to access the best each of us has to offer, and if we aren’t accessible, it’s impossible for others to benefit from the unique contributions we all have to offer. On the other hand, it’s plainly not appropriate to be walking around disclosing private information about ourselves without just cause.
Thanks, Rabbi Rich, for teaching us how to make ourselves into better Jews, with Hashem’s help.